Logical Poetry

 That's my favorite song on Taylor Swift's new album. Probably because it's a phrase that won't stop running through my head. I requested Tim's medical records from a few years ago, because I found his journals and in them, he talks about having headaches and the fear that he would die.  Essentially, it's as I remembered it, that the doctors ran a lot of tests but basically didn't find anything other than high blood pressure. He went to the doctors multiple times over the years, and almost every single time, it said that his blood pressure was high, and that he wasn't taking his blood pressure medication. Sometimes he'd forget to take it, but he was also hyper aware of side effects of medications that the doctors would prescribe, and I truly think let the fear of medicine causing side effects stop him from taking the medicine that would help him. Multiple times the doctors note for him to take his medication, and to go to the hospital if he had a sev...

I haven't been in to work since October 17.  October 18 I woke up around 1 am and couldn't go back to sleep, so I stayed home. I didn't think I'd be able to work well with that little sleep. I'm glad I did stay home, though, as that was my last day with my husband. He had a seizure around 5pm that evening, and never regained consciousness. They ventilated him before I was even able to get to the hospital - the paramedics took him out of the house without really saying anything to me after working on him for a while. Once I did get to the hospital to see him, they had determined that he had a cerebral aneurysm and were going to fly him out to the nearest trauma hospital. He didn't end up getting there until after 8pm. They did a procedure to relieve his brain pressure, and he didn't get up to his room in the ICU until 1am. Before the procedure, the doctors said it would be a long 3 weeks of monitoring him, and that if he woke up it would be a long recovery. I...